I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
