He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
