whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
