apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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