Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
