So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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