I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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