Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
