Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
