It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
