one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
