So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
wrigley field is MILF paradise
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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