If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
