On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
