During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We need a shit load of segways right now
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
