Me. At least after what I've been through.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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