he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
