their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
