how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
