On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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