I met the friendliest cop last night
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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