Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
