Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
