awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
