Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
