the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
