I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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