Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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