After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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