Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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