I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
