4 words: hood of his car
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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