Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
