So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
