something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
