that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
