Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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