Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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