Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
