He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
