It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
