I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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