A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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