Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
