people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
send nudes
from the living room?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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