No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
