party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
