Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
