I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Randomize
