the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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